


In the dark of the night, I hear you say "I love you"

by solenskiner



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, Identity Issues, Little bit of smut, Love Confessions, M/M, shamless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:58:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11307144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solenskiner/pseuds/solenskiner
Summary: Athelstan struggles with his faith, with his place in the world and with his always growing love for Ragnar. But in the end, he is not the only one doing so. When they finally confess, it takes them to places, Athelstan never has imagined as possible.





	In the dark of the night, I hear you say "I love you"

**Author's Note:**

> So I woke up at 4 in the morning and couldn't fall asleep again and I was like: Hey. Why don't I write another fic?  
> So here you go. It's pure fluff. It was just what I needed, I hope you like it too!  
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sadly.

The first time it happens, Athelstan has actually no time to really think about it.

Ragnar and Lagertha stand there, sweaty from their love making and fix him with flirty glances and Athelstan presses his bible to his chest, willing his sinful thoughts away.

He says no and tries to forget the disappointed look on Ragnar’s face at his answer.

Years later he will remember that night and how his eyes have been fixed on Ragnar’s muscular chest, strong arms and legs and something between them.

He realizes much later on that he really _hadn’t wanted_ to join _them_ , but if the tall handsome Viking would have asked him alone…

It’s in England, in King Ecbert’s chamber filled with statues and paintings of the old gods that Athelstan finally _gets it_.

Desire hasn’t been his enemy for a long time then and while he found back to his faith, he still struggles. So instead of shame, he is filled with curiosity when only the male statues are able to awake this stirring.

One night he wakes up, sweat running down his temples, heart beating fast, his body aching from phantom strong callused hands and promising words whispered in his ear.

Funnily enough, praying his need away doesn’t even occur to him in that moment. Athelstan gasps when the image of Ragnar manifests itself inside his head while he pleasures himself and he feels no shame or guilt when it’s the Viking’s name he whimpers when he archives satisfaction.

To see Ragnar again at the camp in Wessex fills him with joy and when the man asks him to return to Kattegat with them, Athelstan finds he has little choice.

But it’s different from before he left. There is a certain coldness between Ragnar and Aslaug that hasn’t been there before. And Athelstan finds himself more often on the receiving end of Ragnar’s stares he can’t quite place. The tall blond Viking has changed just as much as Athelstan has. While Athelstan is scarred, physically and mentally, Ragnar seems more gentle where he has been harsh and more patient and understanding, where he hasn’t been. It’s strange, but the young Englishman soon realizes that Ragnar only changes this way when he is _with him_. Athelstan isn’t quite sure where this leaves him.

Time goes on and besides desire that has been there since that first night if Athelstan is honest, something else is growing between them.

Their glances last longer but are less heated. Ragnar’s eyes shine with warmth every time he looks at him and Athelstan distantly recalls that the king used to look at Lagertha in that way too.

They feast, but Athelstan is no festive mood. He walks to the door and looks out to the beach, the every long stretching water and his soul aches, aside with his hands.

Since the time in England, they bother him, as do his feet and back, at times. Today the pain feels as real as it did when he hung on the cross. He can feel strong hands caress his arms in a smoothing motion and Athelstan leans unconsciously back to lean against a hard chest. The arms close around him and Athelstan shuts his eye close, breathes in deep and enjoys the smell of the sea, Ragnar and the warmth he radiates.

Ragnar loses his grip around him and steps to the side, and then he takes Athelstan's hand.

The younger one wants to take it away, he knows that Ragnar has seen the scars before. But this… this feels too intimate, _too raw_. But Athelstan doesn’t and the other man turns his hand and caresses gently the calluses there. Then he encloses it with his own strong, warm hand and Athelstan forgets to breathe for a moment. “I know what tortures you” Ragnar says and Athelstan looks away.

Does he? Does he know that Athelstan lies awake at night, yearning for this beautiful man? That he struggles to believe in God when he sees the wonder of the gods everywhere? That he said Kattegat is home, but that he feels unwelcome and alone, except when he is at Ragnar’s side?

Does he know that Athelstan loves him, so much it scares him sometimes, and so deeply it feels like there is only place for Ragnar in his heart?

Athelstan dares himself to look at Ragnar and what he sees in the other eyes is the same pain of loneliness, the same conflict and the same uncontained love shining in them.

It’s hard to talk, so Athelstan doesn’t even try it. They stay there and look out to the sea again, his hands still in Ragnar’s.

Some noise from inside brings them back to reality and Athelstan backs slowly away. When he turns he can see Aslaug looking at them.

How does this look to others? Do they think they are too close?

He wants to distance himself a little bit more, but a strong grip on his arms stops him from doing so.

Ragnar looks intensely at him and shakes softly his head.

“Don’t. Not for her sake.”

What Athelstan hears is _don’t distance yourself from me, please. Don’t stay away, please._

He looks at Ragnar again and even though they didn’t say the words, he knows that things have changed. Things are in the open now and somehow it makes him feel far more vulnerable than he likes.

Athelstan gives the other one a small smile and hopes it’s enough for now and then goes back inside.

When he lies in his bed that night he presses his hand palms against his eyes and takes a deep breath. When has only desire given way to something this complicated?

He is already half asleep when he hears relentless knocking and for a moment he thinks he is imaging it. But it lasts more than a minute and so Athelstan gets up and opens it sleepily.

On the other side stands Ragnar, with the fist still in the air, ready to knock again. When he finally realizes that Athelstan really opened, he lets it fall and gives him a loopy smile.

Athelstan steps aside and lets the other inside, where Ragnar strolls around.

He hasn’t been inside the hut he built yet. Strangely enough, Athelstan has never really thought about the meaning of Ragnar building him a hut, but now with the man inside it, his heart fills with warmth again.

Ragnar continues to walk around the room, even though there isn’t much to see, and Athelstan is happy to just watch him.

Then the Viking turns sharply and fixes him with a determined look. He takes a few fast steps and stops when he stands so near that Athelstan can feel his breath on his cheeks.

It’s like a spell befell them, everything is quite, their eyes looking searchingly at each other.

Slowly, so torturous slowly, Ragnar lifts his hand and cups Athelstan left cheek with it, his thumb caressing it gently.

He closes his eyes and leans in the hand and breathes in deeply. Ragnar smells of firewood, grass in the morning and something unmistakably _him_. It’s addictive. Athelstan _is_ addicted to it.

He can feel how Ragnar leans closer, his beard scratching his cheek, and his breath tickling at his neck.

“Athelstan”, he whispers and the young man is lost. He opens his eyes in the moment that Ragnar raises his chin. He sees the liquid feelings in the other eyes and only one thought crosses his mind in that moment: _beautiful._

They cross the distance and he can finally feel Ragnar’s lips on his, after years of wanting and yearning.

They kiss with a gentleness Athelstan never expected from Ragnar but is absolutely fitting for the moment. They have waited so long, they don’t have to rush now.

They break apart and Ragnar, who still cups Athelstan’s cheeks with his hands, begins to caress them again.

They lock gaze and Athelstan feels that something important is about to happen.

“I love you.” Athelstan forgets to breathe for a moment, mind completely blank.

How often has he imagined to hear these words from Ragnar.

His brain finally catches up and he gives Ragnar his biggest, most blinding smile before he leans in again and steals another kiss.

“I love you too.”, he whispers against them and he can feel Ragnar’s smile before he sees it.

When he does, it’s like the sun rose again, the whole room is illuminated with it.

Athelstan lies his hand on top of the other’s on his cheeks, then takes it and leads them to the bed.

They move slowly, removing each other’s clothes with care, kiss in between and finally lie down on the bed.

When he imagined this in the past, Athelstan always expected Ragnar to fuck like he fights, full of fire and animalistic lust. Also the times he witnessed him with Lagertha it has been fast and rough.

 _But this, this is not fucking_ , he thinks while Ragnar kisses down his chest and worships every part of his body. _This is sweet and gentle and unhurried. This is making love._

He always thought he would be incredibly nervous, and he can feel the nerves, but it comes from the anticipation and he finds himself quite at ease.

There is only unbreakable, unending trust. 

Ragnar moves up again and they kiss so long, Athelstan forgets everything else.

Then, slowly, Ragnar enters him and he has never felt more _complete_ than in this moment.

They move with each other, their bodies in sync, fitting perfectly together, just as their souls do.

When they find their pleasure it’s more intense than Athelstan ever thought it could be.

Ragnar carefully leaves his body and kisses him softly on the cheek. Then they arrange each other so, that Athelstan has his head on top of Ragnar’s chest, who pets his hair and kisses him on top of it from time to time, and his strong arms around Athelstan’s more delicate body.

There is so much Athelstan wants to ask and know about. Like where this leaves them. What all will change now and what they will do. Will they continue this from now on?

But Ragnar’s gentle caress, his warmth, and scent bask Athelstan in a feeling of happiness and security and he can do little but smiling and falling asleep while hearing Ragnar’s strong heart beat against his ear, lulling him to sleep.

He feels more contend than ever before in his life when he awakes the next morning in a strong embrace and to the soft snoring of Ragnar.

Athelstan closes his eyes and enjoys the warmth of the sun streaming in through the window, and the warmth of Ragnar’s chest pressed against his back.

Ragnar shift against him and murmurs: “Morning” in the soft skin of his neck.

He shifts again before Athelstan can answer and his hard arousal rubs against sensitive areas.

Athelstan moans and Ragnar seems to be satisfied with that answer, as he flips them and devours Athelstan’s mouth only a second later.

Athelstan thanks God and the gods, when their bodies are joined again, for having this astounding man in his life.

And so all his loneliness, insecurities and struggles fall away to make way for the never ending love he feels for Ragnar.

He has finally found his place in this world. And it will always be at Ragnar’s side. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am not at the episode where they stand and Ragnar holds Athelstan's hands, so I can't tag wich one it was. Also, I found once on Tumblr an extra scene from that episode, where Ragnar offers him to share his bed a second time, but I can't find it anywhere anymore. I really want to see it again, because I would love to write another fic about it. So pleeease, leave a comment with a link or something if you know where I can find it!  
> Thanks as always for reading, please leave kudos and comments :)


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